The ARM of St. Michael
If you are reading this, you already recognize the unfreedom of lust intoxication and sex addiction. This is a tremendous blessing. Recovery cannot begin without the essential admission: Denial is over. Denial hasn't helped.
From here, what is vital is the desire to be transformed. Free will is powerful, its potency is rooted in the heart of desire: what do I really want? What we always wanted before was intoxication. But intoxication leads to death. Choiceless enslavement is not what God wants for his creature-child. Our true desire is: freedom and life.
I may already be able to say that I have the great blessing of desire for health, life, freedom, and transformation. Yet this by itself, does not bring recovery either.
What is desired must be asked for. To ask is to pray. Asking implies an asker and an askee. The addict is the asker, and the request is pointed toward > the Healer of human woundedness. God alone has the power to fix what He created, and all that the addict has haplessly disfigured.
The Creator is a reality for those who believe. His reality is so conclusive that there are no words that describe the certainty of the man of faith who knows Him and has been called by name. The belief in God is beyond all words. It is an ineffable, but utterly concrete reality to those who choose to believe.
The believer does not create the Creator by his faith. The believer touches in the center of his heart the sudden inescapable reality of God who has been present all the time but seemed obscured behind a curtain of creature doubt. The temporary eclipse of ignorance never destroys the Celestial Light of Truth. He has been with us all along!
Turning to God, the creature begins to experience God turning toward him. There are as many paths to God as there are persons. The experience is irreproducible, person to person. This is how much God loves us: for the one who seeks Him sincerely, He creates an utterly unique path of discovery tailored perfectly to each nature and state.
But seek we must, otherwise we will not find. The Giver must be approached. Asking, praying is how the approach is made. Have Faith. >Ask. >Receive.
Our first request becomes our first prayer. "God I believe now as never before that you are real, please grant my request for freedom from addiction."
But we may find that we remain an addict. What happened?
We may have to wait for the fulfillment of the request. Take up your cross are the words Christ gave us to manfully follow his perfect example. Recovery is not a light switch, but a process. Grandeur and glory will be encountered, and understood!
Addiction, like so much of the modern technological world is centered around impatience. The True God is not impatient, He is perfect. Perfect is not too fast, not too slow, always "on time".
Addiction recovery will dismantle a broken and erroneous sense of time. One of the essential recoveries is of our creatureliness. Humans are creatures not gods. Humans do not, for example, create time. Humans are embedded in a garden of wonders that move with inexorable steadiness, yet never stand still. God does not move fast. Do you need proof? Watch an oak tree lose every one of its leaves in Autumn, or winter melt into spring. "Why doesn't God make things happen faster?"
Recovery will overturn our unconscious hatred and disdain for what is "slow". Slowness has garnered a modern fear, repugnance and belittling as if it were demented or inferior or infuriating. Many have become addicted to the speeds of modern society, to everything instantaneous. Impatience is as great an obstacle as denial!
God moves healing with patience and perfection. If the object of my desire was given instantly would I be able to recognize or appreciate it ? Would it transform me at all? Would it be worth anything? How long did it take addiction to deform my mind and body? Is the flip of a switch expected to dismantle decades of malformity?
Could this be why so many do not turn from the false god of an addiction? Is it impatience with something new, something different, something thought not possible, something that might take "too long"...yet something so obvious and yearned for deep down, which astonishes us that we are worthy of something so majestic and noble, something so perfectly and constantly interesting?
What would life be about were it not for imperfection? There would be no journey to make!! And so...
We may have to wait for complete liberation
This is not a cruel or thoughtless design. It is mercy, a sensible fact of recovery. God reveals Himself, His majesty, His glory through the slow perfect annealing of our disfigurements, like the seasons, like the day, like everything around us! Why are human beings so loath to accept our subjectness? The universe itself is so extraordinarily bigger than we are and practically shouts to us all the time, the invincibility of this patience!
Do not let the pace of modern life stop the journey toward sobriety and recovery from even starting. Come, step into the eternal now of the silent, oil-less, harmonic symphony of creation, which includes humanity. Learn thirst for the deepest beauty, the mystery of God's school of transformation: salvation. His majestic Son has come to dwell in complete solidarity with his creature, to make out the path to human wholeness.
The wound of addiction is waiting to be ministered to by the only One Who can heal it. He sent a delegate to lead every person into the promise of new life. He sent the simplest delegation, a delegation of one, God in a human disguise whose name means "safety". Yeshua, salvation. Jesus. The Savior.
Desire is coming. If you have read this you have already been prayed for to receive increased desire for freedom and transformation.